21 September 2010

30 weeks & a tear

in the eyes of a childthere is joy, there is laughter…:

this pregnancy has gone by so fast.
i only have eight weeks left.
only. eight. weeks.

yesterday i was talking to a friend at play group
discussing how i was experiencing some guilt for my little tiny
losing her only child status.
{does that even make sense?}
she reassured me that she remembered feeling that same way.
& teary eyed she recalled
the last day she spent with her first born,
everything they did together.
including the last time she rocked her only child for the last day
she also told me that having her second baby
was the best decision for their family & for her first child.

i cried.
i am crying now.
& i will probably cry later.

why is it that having babies is so emotional?
its definitely something more than hormones.
i believe its the incredible amount of love we have for our children.
even if they are still in the womb.

last week we went in for a regular check up with my doctor.
all is well with the growing nameless baby boy.
mr. mcphee asked ever so slyly if there was anyway to confirm that
the nameless baby boy inside my over grown belly was really a boy.
because my doctor is the beez kneez,
he took us across the hall for an ultrasound.

the ultrasound went a little something like this:

Dr. F: "well, there is the baby's head, & shoulders. nice normal heartbeat,
there {pointing} two arms, {pointing} two legs,
umm... yes, {pointing again} he is a boy for sure."

we laughed & made little jokes about seeing our
nameless baby boy's pee pee
for the rest of the day.

post srcipt:
i have heart burn from just simply breathing these days.

there is hope, there is trust, a chance to shape the future Air Supply


Heather said...

Katie - I totally remember when I had my second [maddie} and Caitlin had never heard the words "Wait a minute" before. It was pretty traumatic! but, it is so great to have siblings and you will love to see the relationship that develops for Little Tiny! My last two, Bailey and Parker, are so close and I love seeing the boy /girl dynamic! Just think, before you know it, you will have a whole gaggle of kids running around and won't even remember what it was like to have one...and that's a good thing - I promise!

Michelle Blair said...

So sweet KK, you make me cry. You can still have mommy/daughter days after tiny 2 is born. I'm glad you can see your 1 bump below the 2 bumps. ;)

Jessie said...

Oh girl, I know exactly how you are feeling right now! But NOTHING is sweeter then seeing Crew hold Sloans hand when she cries or tries to replace her paci when it falls out. I totally felt guilty about taking away Crew's only child status but those feelings go away, because I gave Crew something SO MUCH MORE then "only child" status, I gave him a best friend for life {little Sloany Baloney} :)

Love you girl!

Jessica Cockrell-Finch said...

LOVE your belly picture's!! i feel the same way about wanting to give Ben a sibling...I always think if there will be enough of me to go around to 2 kids and a husband!

Unknown said...

Yes, I remember when Spencer was born. Grandma brought you to the hospital and I wanted to cry when I realized how little your were. But...you were the best big sister a little brother could ever have asked for and the rest is history. You were dark headed and he was blonde...wonder what your combo will be??? Can't wait!!